What you speak matters, literally. Every word you speak describes and creates what you experience. What you say and how you say it has a tremendous impact for you and your listeners. The words you choose to speak to yourself define the shape, texture and felt sense of your inner reality.
Life exists inside a sea of energy and in-formation. What you perceive as the physical world is represented by your mind as “self and other” in the form of images. Your mental images only describe what you can name and, you name only what you know and understand with precision. Therefore, the richer your vocabulary and the more accurate it’s meaning, the more power you embody as you speak.
During childhood learning was fun and stimulated imagination and creativity. When language is utilized in this way, it forms itself as a felt experience that makes you more open, alive, passionate and engaged. Indeed, what you speak matters.
Before language you knew nothing and you were curios about everything. You interacted directly with the world and you gained knowledge and understanding through experience. As you learn language, you expand your understanding by learning via your intellect. Eventually experiential learning gets replaced by learning through concepts. This is part of normal modern development and greatly diminishes all other areas of intelligence children have: intuition, kinesthetic, emotional, creativity etc.
Concepts are the building blocks of core beliefs. These are transitional tools for learning, self-understanding and constructing your personal mental reality. Core beliefs have inherent limitations: they are constructed by a child’s interpretations of their experiences or they are given to the child who accepts them as truth without question. There are two problems with core beliefs. One, a child’s experience is colored with strong emotional content. Two, The information given to the child about herself and the world contain errors including “the information” being completely false.
The core beliefs that make up your self-concept, ideas that you have about you, are points of reference sourced from an emotional self. Emotional intelligence lacks the ability for abstract reasoning, which is necessary to imagine new solutions to old problems.
The most important distinction to have when you intent for your words to matter are: a belief contains assumptions while knowing is certain. An assumption is subject to doubt and therefore it can potentially generate confusion, which leads to emotional reactivity. On the other hand, knowing is a conviction born from common sense and wisdom already gained.
Another difference between believing and knowing is that believing due to its emotional nature forms you into a contraction of awareness, your ego identity. Knowingness expands your awareness and it includes your unique presence of being.
Beliefs generate the emotional content of their corresponding self-images. Knowingness dissolves your self-images and, trans-forms emotional energy into states of pure consciousness such as love, appreciation, gratitude, understanding, clarity, joy, happiness and inner peace.
Beliefs confine you and, knowingness liberates you! The words of beliefs and, the words of knowing may be the same. Yet, the meaning expressed is radically different. Where you speak from matters!
Between knowing and believing is the aware-ego. As an aware ego you are aware of your thoughts and emotions and, instead of identifying with them you are aware of them. The aware ego can confidently name its internal experience. The aware ego knows that it knows and knows when it doesn’t know-confidently. When you lack awareness you hide not knowing with beliefs and assumptions. The emotional self speaks what he beliefs.
Clear rational, logical thinking is grounded in knowingness. What is there to know? Your deepest truth! Speaking what is true has three elements of effective communication: it is simple, clear and concise. Concepts that express truth with simple, clear and concise words are easy to understand for the listener.
When you speak what you believe you and the listener are bound to be confused. Inherent in your core beliefs are contradictions and limitations. For example if you unconsciously believe “I’m not good enough”, you are constantly measuring your value against some impossible standard. Your communication reflects this conflict by way of self-doubts and indecision, which makes the listener confused, irritated or frustrated.
When you lack self-worth your internal communication, the way you speak to you about you, contains negative thoughts with negative emotions. This inner dialogue and its emotional atmosphere becomes the basis of how you unconsciously communicate with other people.
Core beliefs generate mental attitudes. If you feel inferior or superior to others, your fears or your arrogance are expressed as an attitude of submission or control. Your words literally project your energy as an attack or defense or, as a wave of love and appreciation, how do you speak to you internally?
Beliefs in lack of value are based on old and familiar feelings that you have internalized. The sources of these feelings are interactions with others. In these repeated interactions you as a child were criticized, may be harshly punished and perhaps neglected. Believing that you are not good enough also means that, in different ways you were threatened and corrected with words that caused you to feel ashamed of yourself.
Each limiting, false and toxic belief generates many negative thoughts. These mental negativity fuels familiar negative emotions including self-doubt, worry, frustration, impatience, anger, rage, hatred, anxiety, fear, shame, guilt and sadness. Emotions are expressed energetically even when your spoken words attempt to hide how you feel.
Our culture supports us in giving more attention to what is wrong and negative instead of what is true. For example, children are conditioned to suppress strong emotional outburst in public. In fact, people end up as adults trading honesty for politeness. This cultural imperative is a primal source of inner conflict: “you should “ look good and speak nicely always, regardless of how you feel. Despite your attempt to focus on positive thoughts your unconscious negative beliefs will continue to control your behavior. To speak powerfully you must become aware and interrupt internal negativity and stop believing what makes you feel bad!
When your thoughts only reflect your core beliefs, their underlying false and negative assumptions result in massive confusion when speaking. Also, core beliefs distort what is true and real now by filtering it with the past.
Speaking truthfully empowers you, speaking falsely drains you of vitality. Take words that express judging, blaming and complaining for instance. These words have an emotional charge that consumes and depletes your life force. Judging, blaming and complaining express core beliefs that resist the way things are. On the other hand, when you take responsibility for how you feel and, the consequences of your choices and actions, the words you speak make you stronger.
When you face the truth of how things are and, intent to aligning with reality, your energy expands and becomes balanced and harmonmious.
It takes self-confidence to speak truthfully. When confidence is challenged it takes courage to speak up what is true. Speaking truthfully can have intensity yet truth is not emotional. When you experience intense emotions as you speak truthfully, you are integrating dissociated parts of you that are being valued and understood. Speaking truthfully engages responsibility and this heals your past.
Speak only what represents your core values and you shall empower your words. What you speak matters, it matters when you speak truthfully and when you don’t. You can stop speaking against you and others. You can stop participating in gossip and expressing any thoughts that take away anyone’s value, particularly yours!
Is valuable to identify your core beliefs and be willing to challenge them. You can discover your core beliefs by simply paying attention to how you really feel when you speak. Core beliefs are loaded with unexpressed emotions and, when you speak them you regress to emotional states that are pre-rational and illogical, notice this and stop talking! And instead become fully present as an adult and pay attention.
Believing and speaking your core beliefs makes you unauthentic and keep you immature. Each core belief generates a corresponding self-image that you unconscious believe is you.
You are not an image of you! During childhood, as part of normal development, you created and got used to the feeling and emotions self-images produce. Is time to stop behaving and speaking according to how you feel when all you feel are negative emotions.
Speak less and feel more and you will access your knowingness. The biggest trap in speaking untruths is relaying on mental analysis, yes thinking your way through life is one way to miss the essence of living.
Written by Osiris Montenegro
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